The book is printed on superpremium german paper, hand-bound in french goat leather. endpapers marbled and made by hand. It ships inside a locking cigar humidor. It’s $1300. And we’ve sold 13.
JEF: inside this, in the bottom of the humidor, there are slits. and there’s a light-activated chip with a speaker. as soon as they pull the book out, the author Dr. E.L. Kersten starts talking. “Tim Hwang, Welcome… to The Chairman’s Edition.” We wanted it to be direct and personal . It expensive to create, but well worth it.
AUDIENCE MEMBER: name the 13 companies we don’t want to work for?
JEF: They’re among the most profitable in the world.
PETE: sex panther cologne. if you open it, it growls like a panther. and we didn’t raise the price. it’s for the lulz.
XIAOCHANG: audience question: what are the barriers to getting duff beer in the grocery? what’s the most popular fictional item?
PETE: a couple of twilight fans have spilled over and started buying pure blood. shipped an entire container to australia. like a real train car shipping container.
XIAOCHANG: urbandictionary being cited in the courtroom. only for sovereign state of rofl?
AARON: surprised it shows up in the courtroom, but I like it. it’s supposed to be real. first big breaks was when a judge in the UK used it to figure out what two rappers were saying in the courtroom. or ‘hoe’ in nevada license plate.
audience: PH, how did you get started bringing these products to market. takes a lot of money.
PETE: I’m a random guy, I started doing it because it was funny. bad way to start a business. you remember brawndo two years ago…
LARRY: I double-fisted brawndos on a panel.
PETE: It took me a year to find people to talk to and give them all my money and 12 months later end up with a warehouse full of neon green potable liquid with equivalent of 4 mountain dews or 2.5 redbulls. I earned the money because I am a badass. There is an american-made tombstone vending machine.
XIAOCHANG: how does ocremix develop musician creativity?
LARRY: all content peer-reviewed and judged on factors – arrangement creativity. don’t accept copies or covers of songs. production quality – does it sound good, are instrument balanced? djpretzel used to do it all on his own. he started judges panel in 2002. I started in 2004 and head up the judges panel now. we’re hardline music quality critics. most judges are musicians. a couple aren’t including myself. we listen, compare it with the original, tell them what they’re doing right and what they’re doing wrong. workshop forms where the community can evaluate as well. tips and tricks, lending insights to help people get better. system is developed so that you can come in not knowing about music, no experience, not playing an instrument. we have the resources for you to get feedback. if you stick with it in 2-3 years coming from nothing, you can be making professional quality music. it’s what we’re all about. if you don’t have the skills yet, we’re the place to learn and have a badass time doing it.
XIAOCHANG: audience question: any plans for urban thesaurus?
AARON: I have the domain name, but people can’t spell ‘thesaurus’. I have the ability to tell you what the synonyms of hoe are.
XIAOCHANG: audience question: what services/software help you keep growing?
AARON: managed hosting (voxel) based out of NYC and singapore. thorough, qualified, trust them with 24/7 operations. not the kind of thing I can host off a powerpc 6800 under my dorm room.
LARRY: liquidweb is our hosting. dave does all the coding. xml, c jargon. I don’t even know. I can speak more on how we keep our stuff organized. google docs for having team work on one thing at the same time. social media. everyone does it now, but there are ways to let people into your communication streams and show them what you’re working on. that’s where the people are (twitter/facebook). put your message out there and great things will happen.
JEF: We’ve used yahoo for ecommerce hosting. the rest of Amplifier’s systems are complicated.
AARON: I use ruby on rails. it’s pretty sweet.
PETE: I make stuff, I’m not a software person.
XIAOCHANG: you’re not only facilitating creation, you’re documenting it. social collections of things that people have said about our culture. what will archaeologists think we do?
JEF: I’m an Ecclesiastes guy. It’s all vanity. With all these disposable products, there won’t be a Demotivator® anywhere after 3000 years. People will look at the Internet as the advent of the network model/globalization.
LARRY: we claim stuff is free and educational and fair use. companies pimp our stuff all the time. they know we’re there and like what we’re doing. have we removed stuff? yes. we had a bunch of crappy stuff a long time ago and removed it. in 3k years, when people dig up hard drives and t-shirts.
AARON: I have to take down stuff with credit card numbers, full names. library of congress is archiving urban dictionary.
PETE: I’m concerned with the year 5 billion when the sun explodes. just so you knew it’s coming.
LARRY: there will be no record of what we did. so have fun and do whatever the hell you do and enjoy life. have fun. I’m a total hedonist. do what you want and your life will be awesome.